If you've watched all the video lessons, you should now have a good overview about how financial settlements typically end up, for people with a fact pattern similar to yours.

  • You should be able to accept that your aim must be to reach a deal that is "normal" for your type of facts. You've dropped the notion of trying to take a proportion of your wealth that's way outside the typical range. (You almost certainly won't get that.) You just want to sleep well at night knowing that your settlement is normal.

  • Hopefully you've also understood the serious reduction in your wealth that is, statistically, likely to happen if you try using the legal system to chase a settlement. You'll see that mathematically and statistically it's almost impossible to come out with a better net financial outcome if you get a judge to impose a decision on you and your ex.

  • If you watched the parenting lessons, too, then you'll know what are the normal types of custody arrangements and understand how child support works.
 
 

The 4 Things You Should Do Next

SPACER
You've been prudent in taking the time to get the big picture. So what now? What can you do to move things forward towards a settlement?

The next 4 steps are inescapable:
You have get clear about what your assets and liabilities are.

​It's not hard - just write them down. Assets first, then liabilities. Put super and/or pensions in their own separate list. Add Assets plus Super minus Liabilities to see your Total Net Wealth as a couple. That's what you need to divide.
Think about your own future needs and those of your children.

Remember that needs are not the same as wants. Neither of you will be able to enjoy the same financial quality of life now you're separated - it simply costs more to live apart than in one household.

So you may need to "recalibrate" your expectations to match your new reality.
In light of what you've learned, decide what you think is the right ballpark outcome that you'd be OK to accept.

Don't pin it down precisely, because the final deal you're likely to get isn't a matter of precision. It's going to be a balance between what you "need" (or want) and what your former partner needs (or wants). For certain you will both need to compromise at least somewhat. Right now you just need a ballpark.

But note this before you firm up your view, because this is critical: 

If you are still thinking you "should" get a split of wealth outside the 50/50 to 65/35 range, then you need to be able to list some very specific and highly unusual facts in your situation. They should be facts that are different from the 98% of the population who do fit within the range.

If you really are that unique, then stick to your guns. If not, it's likely you're not being reasonable or realistic, and it's likely that reaching a settlement will be a long and slow process!